Once Upon A Time “Siege Perilous” RECAP

This week Once Upon A Time brought the bromance, the adventure and heartbreak with Arthur and David on a quest for a mushroom and Hook stabbing me in the heart with his use of the past tense.  Also Rumple is awake and Lancelot is alive!

In Camelot…

The ladies (and Charming) were hard at work searching Merlin’s library for clues as to how to spring him from the tree. Snow suggests they figure out a way to talk to Merlin “You’re occasionally a genius.”  Regina complimenting Snow? Am I watching the right show?  They’ve come so far, Evil Queen and Snow White being friends, Walt is surely turning in his grave. Regina flips through Merlin’s spell book and finds information about the “Crimson Crown” a mushroom that can aid in communicating across barriers.  Only problem: it only grows in the Forest of Eternal Night.  No problem: Charming’s got this.  Before he can strap on his shining armor King Arthur proposes that he accompany David on his quest.

“Come with me and we can ourselves outfitted and we quest together as brothers”

Arthur

Calm yourself Nolan, you’re blushing.  I know, I know, Arthur is totally dreamy but you need to be professional.  Arthur brings him to the Roundtable to give him a Royal sword. He tells David about Lancelot (who we last saw seasons ago being manipulated by Cora) and his betrayal which led to his exile.  Damn love triangles, so sharp, so dangerous.  Sorry Lancelot.  One of Arthur’s aids, Griffin, lugs in a big ol’ trunk, the Reliquary, which is full of sacred and magical items recovered by the Knights.  In it, the Unquenchable Flame which will lead them through the forest.  The two begin their trek which is when things get extra bromantic.  They quickly bond over the fact that they were both not born noble, coming from peasant upbringings. Followed by some gabbing about their strong independent wives…

“We should have a tourney.  Get them to compete.”

Arthur

They reach the tree that grows the Crimson Crown but only David can cross the unsteady bridge (that’s not held up by anything but is just floating in the water yet he is able to walk over without it sinking.  Ok. Sure.).  It’s a rather easy task, there is a quick scuffle with creatures from the black lagoon (who are dressed as knights?) but its no challenge for the Brothers Grimm Camelot.  Scratch that.  They didn’t get the mushroom.  Way to go guys.  David admits to Arthur that he fears he will only be remembered as the guy who woke a princess with a kiss instead of a gallant hero.  Arthur understands, being known as the guy who pulled a sword from a stone.  The bromance blooms with them finishing each other sandwiches sentences.  A very important (and extremely relevant this season) piece of advice…

“Its the losses that require us to be brave.  So if anything will make us heroes its the never giving up even after loss.”

They return to the castle where Arthur seals the bromance deal by knighting David and officially making him a Knight of the Roundtable.  Sir David! He offers him Lancelot’s chair, the Siege Perilous, which is only fit for the most noble of Knights.  His proud family and friends clap, happy, in this realm at least.  Mary Margaret excuses herself as Neal begins to cry.  In the hallway and out of nowhere, Lancelot appears.  Yeah, he’s alive.  How? I’m sure this will be explained next week in one sentence. But he has an important message: Arthur should not be trusted.

And Lancelot was right.  Back at the roundtable after the ceremony, Arthur pulls out the Crimson Crown, telling Guinevere that he’s doing what he has to for Camelot.

In Storybrooke…

Dark Swan takes a field trip to the mines where she interrupts the dwarves hard at work (they’re whistling!).  She takes Happy’s axe then poofs away to her dungeon-basement.  She’s about to take a whack at the Sword in the Stone but imaginary friend Rumple explains that it’s just a waste of time.  The dwarves are not too happy about this and storm the Sheriff’s station to tell on Emma to her parents. They retreat leaving Mary Margaret and David to have a long overdue chat. I may not be Snow’s biggest fan but I do love watching Josh Dallas and Ginnifer Goodwin’s scenes together.  Knowing that they are married in real life enhances every scene they have together, it makes the relationship between Snow and Charming so believable, so honest even amid this fantastical world of Once Upon A Time. They have a heated discussion about their unruly daughter with David questioning his ability to be a father, a leader, a hero.  Wife of the Year Snow reassures him as their song plays gently in the background…

“In any world you are my hero”

Snow

Can I get an “Awwwwwww”?

King Arthur comes to David to help him search for the Reliquary which apparently also contains a magic bean.  They go on a
Storybrooke-version of their bromantic quest, visiting Griffin first who is no help (yet).  The Brothers Camelot go to Gold’s shop looking for the bean, it hasn’t showed up but David has an idea.  He announces to the people of Camelot that the magic chalice he took from Gold’s (its just a cup) will reveal who stole from the Reliquary.  It works as a hooded Camelotian rides off on a horse. They chase after him with David’s car (he gives the wheel to Arthur because he totally knows how to drive a car.  Ok. Sure.).  The car-horse chase ends in a classic joust with David pinning the hooded assailant with a block of wood.  Turns out its Griffin.  He confesses he stole to hurt the King because he was sick of working for him but says he never saw a magic bean. They throw Griffin in a cell but not before conveniently discovering the Crimson Crown just laying on the floor beside a tent.  Convenient.  Too convenient.  Back at the sheriff’s station, Arthur visits Griffin, who was working with him all along. Arthur convinces him to drink a deadly poison to preserve their cause, assuring him he will be remembered for his loyalty to Camelot forever.  A bit cult-leader of him, no? A bit creepy…

There were not one but two bromances brewing in the episode with Hook visiting Robin at Grannys.  They had a nice man to man chat about “pictures from up inside Zelena” aka Sonograms (Hook’s “Whoa mate” had me laughing out loud) and their complicated relationships.  These two have failed the reverse Bechdel test, quit talking about your ladies! No I’m kidding, please keep chatting you two.   Granny interrupts with an order for Hook, its from Emma with a note requesting he meet her at the Jolly Roger.

My ship boards the ship and I so badly wish they didn’t.  Emma appears and Hook is not happy to see her.  The way he looks at her, as if she’s a stranger, is horrifying.  There is no love at all in this scene, just pain and heartache.

“This is hardly like old times”

Hook

At least in last week’s episode there was a glimpse of the Captain Swan we know and love, with their passionate Neverland-esque kiss, this week, nothing.  Emma apologizes for the scene at the house then recreates their first date with a quick magic poof. She’s back to her old self, at least she appears to be, donning her soft pink dress, (blonde!) ponytail and her normal complexion.  Hook looks cautiously hopeful but quickly reverts back to being just cautious.   They sit and have a heart to Dark heart conversation.  Emma wants him to trust her but it’s clear that is not happening anytime soon.  Hook says she isn’t the same Emma.

“I’m different, I’m better…I used to be scared and judgmental and closed off…now I see things clearly.  I’m not scared anymore”

Emma

That’s all well and good Emma, but Hook is not about this Dark One life.  Emma wants them to continue their relationship but Hook promptly calls her out.  He is so filled with anger in this scene; it’s an emotion from Hook we’ve only seen when he interacts with The Crocodile, never anyone else, until now.   While she is the cold Dark Swan, this reaction from Hook unsettles her.  She tries to reason with him, explaining why Belle and Rumple’s relationship works and how theirs can too.  Hook looks down, visibly disturbed by Emma’s speech.   He makes a heartfelt confession, one that brings Killian Jones full circle, admitting that he was always the villain…

“I was the villain in that little drama, Swan.  He was a good man trying to keep his family together, I took this cutless, put it to his head and taunted him.  I was the only there who’s changed for the better.  He became an evil manipulative killer.”

Emma tries once more to persuade Hook, but he has had enough. “That you isn’t here” Hook declares stepping close to her, in her face.  He looks into her eyes, emotionless and realizes this was one big play, she wants something.  She only wants his trust, however that is impossible at this point, she is too far gone for Hook to stand beside her.  The two separately reach a point where emotion cannot be avoided.  Hook admits that he liked her the way she was, that he liked her walls, he liked “being the one to break them down.”  His voice was unsteady (Colin you are perfect) as he stared in her eyes searching for his Emma but he knows she isn’t there.  You could see his heart breaking, giving up.  Light Emma meanwhile seems to be breaking through as she slowly realizes that she is losing her true love.

“Do you love me? If you tell me you don’t love me, I will let you go.”

Emma

For the first time this season you see pure emotion in Emma’s eyes as she awaits his answer.

I loved you.

Hook

Sorry, I can’t finish this recap I’m too busy bawling my eyes out because of the PAST TENSE.  I am in pain.  This hurt me.  I…I don’t even know what to say…

[5 minutes later]

Ok, I’ve gathered my thoughts and used up a whole box of tissues and rewatched the scene where Hook tells Emma she’s his happy ending.  I feel better now.  Hope restored.  They can make it through this.  I just know it.  I believe in Captain Swan.

Emma appears almost as shocked as I was by his use of the dreadful past tense.  Her eyes are glossy, possibly close to tears even.  Hook asks whether he’s sailing or swimming home.  Emma covers her emotion with a smile, replying with a mere “ships yours” disappearing before she can be consumed by her heartbreak.
_
Finally, Belle’s enchanted Rose restores, its petals attached and vibrant. She rushes from Grannys to the shop but Rumple is gone. Emma has kidnapped him and taken him to her dungeon.  He wakes up to Emma over him. She tells him that he is not dark but also not light, that he is nothing.  But what he is is malleable.  She wants to shape him into the purest form of a hero.  Why? To pull the Sword from the Stone…

Some Extra Thoughts…

  • Did I mention I’m devastated because of this?

  • Me currently:

  • So what do we call these new bromance ships? Captain Hood? Charmelot?
  • Where was Henry this whole episode????
  • I don’t know who’s more sketchy Arthur or Guinevere #NoNewFriends
  • I know Arthur is kinda bad now man I love this new friendship with David, I mean look at them…

  • Keep Belle away from the fine china she just loves breaking it
  • Zelena line count this season: 3
  • Hook clapping was an unexpectedly hilarious…

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